Kill Plan

A CIA operative tries to stop a deadly virus from killing millions of people, a fate I would welcome as opposed to watching this seventy-one minute monstrosity again. Agent Nash (Jason Toler) is recovering from brain damage sustained in Iraq. He is partnered with Mara (Sarah Brine), when the deadly chemical XZ-9 is stolen from a lab. There are a couple of turncoat agents in Nash's department, Winston (Chris Spinelli) and Dexter (Adam Weston Poell), who are after the stuff, plus crime boss Wan (Benny Tjandra)...I apologize, I had no idea what was happening throughout this film. Forget about the lack of budget and terrible performances for a moment. The screenplay makes no sense. I had no idea who characters were, what XZ-9 was (chemical? virus? laundry detergent?) although it is mentioned about a hundred times in the film, and after a hilarious opening sequence set in Iraq, I gave up trying. This is the kind of amateurish film where half the cast served in other roles behind the camera, but not in a noble or admirable manner. One minor character mispronounces "emeritus," and the gaffe made it to the final cut. The story is intercut with stock footage of large cities to try and give this some epic scope, but sometimes the aspect ratio doesn't match, or the city footage is repeated in later shots. The sound quality is terrible, and even the subtitle generator I had running couldn't understand what some characters were saying, substituting the word "(mumbles)" instead. The action scenes are boring and comical, pay no attention to that kinda cool poster because none of that is in this movie, which features more footage of our hero sitting at a desk instead of standing or trying to save the world. I can appreciate making the most of your modest budget as much as the next person, but this is ridiculous, as if the film makers wanted to hurry up and finish this because of a deadline to get it onto Amazon Prime, which seems to specialize in terrible films like this. This isn't a poor man's James Bond ripoff, this is a poor man's poor man's ripoff of a poor man's James Bond ripoff. Speaking of James Bond, the scariest item awaits the few brave souls who make it through the end credits, where there is a promise that this Nash character will return in a sequel absolutely NO ONE wants.