Iron Mask

I usually love these historical romps, and ordinarily Jason Flemyng can be relied upon to turn in a reasonable performance - but sadly, not so here. This is pretty terrible. Excessive reliance on computer effects, and some shockingly hammy efforts from Jackie Chan and Arnold Schwarzenegger bemuse more than entertain. What on Earth are they doing in this dross? Indeed, though to a lesser extent, could that question be posed at rent-a-stars Charles Dance and Rutger Hauer. The story, not that it remotely matters, centres around Flemyng's "Jonathan Green" - a map maker charged with charting the Russian Far East. After a few rather limply devised and overly choreographed adventures, he ends up in China facing the almost comically un-menacing "Dragon Master" (Chan) whilst the deposed Czar of all the Russias (complete with the eponymous mask) escapes imprisonment in London and a battle royal looms... It's trying, to be fair. It mixes the mystic with the scientific; it even has a go at being witty now and again, but the sum of the parts is nowhere near good enough at the end. It lumbers along for almost two hours with a largely pedestrian dialogue and a sort of portmanteau style of delivery that smacks of a student assemble-edit. I am afraid that this film is really nothing at all to write home about; a very disappointing effort from some stars who might have known better and from some writers who might have done us all a favour by leaving the tops on their pens.